In case you guys haven’t noticed from my other wedding posts, I’ve been pretty ambivalent about this whole planning process. So I thought that I was safe from the majority of the bridal frenzy. Turns out, the personal care side of wedding planning is VERY interesting to me. Of course, these are things mostly tailored to brides because women like to spend money, am I right???? So, here are some of the ridiculous wedding beauty industry must-haves I’ve considered before the big day.
Facial
It’s no secret that we’re into skincare here at And Then We Tried. But with so many people looking at me at once and pictures to last a lifetime, is my skin ready to get married? Do my pores need to be emptied and shrunk? My skin toned and evened? While these are all things I would obviously love, I’m leaning towards getting married in the skin I currently have.
Spray Tan
Ok, so maybe not all of the skin I currently have. I have some tan lines that really interfere with my dress style and they need to be taken care of. Do I get a full on spray tan? Or do I work with some self-tanning lotions? We’re about six weeks out so I should probably make a decision on this one.
Lashes
Am I even a beautiful bride if I don’t have lashes that touch my own eyebrows? I’ll admit that after watching Michelle get lash extensions it was an intriguing option, but my makeup artist for the big day offers fake lashes so I’m sticking with those.
Workouts
Did you know there are entire workout regimens tailored to brides? Barre classes, Pilates, spin: you name it, there are bridal workouts for it. Meanwhile, Zac has been jogging and watching what he eats and seeing a lot of success. Almost makes you think that a bride could just work out on her own terms to become healthy and strong without paying hundreds of dollars for it.
Now, am I working out on my own terms to become healthy and strong? Some weeks are better than others.
Fillers
Ok, this is probably the most outrageous consideration of them all. I have what some people refer to as eleven lines AKA frown lines on the insides of my eyebrows above my nose. These lines come from a lifetime of judging people and my face freezing that way. While there are plenty of reasonable, long-term options for treating these particular face caverns, I have a blinking neon deadline for beauty that doesn’t allow for months of creams and treatments. Do I get fillers? Botox? Some sort of new age laser treatment?
I will be doing none of these things because I can’t quite justify shooting stuff into my face. Also, I have no money.
Teeth Whitening
This is what Photoshop is for. Moving on.
Outfits for Showers and Rehearsals
I could do a whole separate post on the various clothing items I’ve considered buying for this wedding. Obviously, I need a white cocktail dress for the rehearsal. Oh, and I need a jacket to wear over my wedding dress. And a white outfit for my bridal showers. And what about getting ready the day of? There will be pictures of that too. Oh, and breakfast the morning after. Not to mention the accessories for, you know, the actual wedding.
So far I’ve been pretty good at limiting myself. I’ve bought one dress for a bridal shower and will most likely be using Rent the Runway for other outfits, because when am I ever wearing a white cocktail dress again?
Contacts
This is the only drastic beauty measure I’ve taken so far for the wedding. While I love my glasses for regular wear, they don’t photograph well. I’ve been on the hunt for a new pair of frames that would fit my style and photograph well without taking away too much attention from my dress, but I wasn’t having any luck. So, I took the plunge and got contacts.
Guys, did you know that once you put these things in your eyes you can just SEE EVERYTHING? I can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner.
Regular Maintenance
All of these beauty treatments and options aside, I still have plenty of regular maintenance to keep up before the wedding. Haircut and color, facial waxing, nails, etc. Meanwhile, Zac will get a haircut the week before the wedding and call it good. Boys.
In case the sarcasm didn’t come through clearly enough, I know that none of these things are necessary for me or any other bride. As long as you’re happy it doesn’t matter what you look like on your wedding day or any other day. However, if this process has taught me anything, it’s that no one is safe from self-consciousness and the overall wedding beauty industry.
Of course, who’s to say what I would do if money were no object and I could get any treatment I wanted? FILLERS FOR EVERYONE.
