My wedding is in a few months and we’re in full swing with planning. With all of the resources out there, you would think that planning a wedding would be a piece of cake. But in my planning, there have still been a number of wedding planning questions that I haven’t been able to find answers to online. I just need someone to tell me if I’m doing this right! Here’s what I’ve had to decide for myself (the horror!) while planning our wedding.
Question One: How many sets of plates/silverware am I supposed to register for?
Zac and I decided to register for new plates and silverware since we have a mishmash of hand-me-down items that aren’t quite suiting our needs right now. But when it comes to actually registering for them, no one can tell me a standard amount to register for.
My Answer: 8-10 plates, 12 sets of silverware
We haven’t settled on which plates to register for (that’s a whole other thing) but once we land on something that will determine how many plates we get since some of them come in sets of eight, ten, or 12. For the silverware, I just picked something that seemed right. We currently have seven knives and eight each of forks and spoons and we’re constantly running out of silverware.
Question Two: What happens if you get drunk and invite people to your wedding?
Ok so this might be more of a personal problem, but I’ve somehow gotten into the habit of inviting people to our wedding after I’ve had a few drinks. For the most part, it’s been people I was on the fence about anyways, so it’s not that big of a deal. But there have been some randoms.
My Answer: Suck it up, they’re coming to your wedding.
Sorry to everyone involved.
Question Three: Are you a terrible person if you insist on all of your bridesmaids wearing matching dresses?
I love the current trend of picking a color for your bridesmaids and letting everyone pick their own dress. I think it’s a great idea and it makes it easier for bridesmaids so that everyone gets something they’re comfortable in and that fits their budget. But when we went bridesmaid dress shopping I just decided that everyone was going to wear what I liked and that’s it.
My Answer: Yes, but I don’t care.
Look. Listen. I’m not super proud of my decision, but I am happy with how everyone looks in the dress. Luckily I have v chill bridesmaids who just want to do what I want. Thanks, guys!
Question Four: How do you tell people to not buy you gifts while still having a registry?
This has been more of a moral struggle than anything else. Planning our registry has been the only part of wedding planning that I’ve truly enjoyed, but the more I think about it the more guilty I feel. I keep telling our friends to not buy us anything, especially the ones in the bridal party. They’re already doing so much and I don’t want them spending their money on kitchen tools for us. But I do know that there are people coming to showers and the wedding who want to buy us things, and they will whether we have a registry or not. So isn’t it better to give those people a list of things we’ll actually use instead of getting a bunch of random stuff? But then does having the registry make people feel like they need to buy us things?? It’s a vicious circle.
My Answer: Still working on it.
I don’t want to seem greedy and the truth is I do want the things on our registry but can’t necessarily afford to buy all of it myself. Zac and I are considering adding a donation section to our registry so that we can pick a charity or cause and have our guests donate to that if they feel compelled to do so.
Question Five: Is it too late to elope?
Over the years, I’ve heard so many people in the midst of wedding planning say, “just elope! It’s easier!” I never thought I’d be that person, but here we are. There are so many decisions to make and so many people involved that I’m just over it. Can we just cancel everything and get married at a courthouse?
My Answer: No, but you’d regret it.
I’m a pretty sentimental person and just the thought of having everyone I love in one room makes me tear up. So, as frustrating as some of this has been, I know it’s going to be worth it in the end. Because here’s the thing: at the end of all of this, Zac and I are getting married. That’s all that matters. Emotions are running high right now for sure, but the day of the wedding I know it will all be worth it.
What about you guys? Have you ever planned a wedding or been the sounding board for someone planning? There’s a lot to do! I’d love to hear what you struggled with and whether or not it was all worth it.