For the past few weeks, I’ve been on a search for a specific pair of shoes. They have arrived in my inbox every morning, just asking to be worn. I can’t pinpoint when the emails started, maybe January? Regardless, nearly every day for months now, I have received a promotional email from Gap featuring a relaxed, casual model wearing these ankle strap block heel pumps:
Upon first glance, I thought they were cute but impractical for me, Weak Ankle Hannah (just watch me ice skate, you’ll get it). After a few more emails, however, I had begun planning outfits around them in my head.
I checked out the site just, you know, to see what was going on with these shoes. On the Gap site, the shoes were everywhere. On every model, whether she was showing off jeans, dresses, or spring-y tops. But on the actual shoes and accessories page? Nothing.
I was bummed, but assumed that I must have missed them when they were first offered. I’d live. (No, I wouldn’t, because once I find something that I’m slightly interested in but cannot have, I become obsessed).
I tried to ignore them. I tried to rationalize with myself: Would I wear them? Maybe twice. Did I need them? Obviously.
Then I tried to find a suitable substitute that was actually available for purchase. I even Googled “Gap Ankle Strap Block Heel Pump,” many, many times. These shoes were all I could think about. I checked the Gap website daily for an update. And then I received an email, just a few weeks ago, featuring the shoes in a new color:
Finally! They must be restocked now! NOPE. Once more, I was let down by the shoe selection on Gap’s website.
I searched for a replacement shoe for another few weeks, all the while receiving my daily torture email, flaunting the heels in my face.
I could take it no longer. So, I dusted off my twitter account (which hadn’t seen any action in nearly a year) and tweeted a screen capture to Gap. Just for good measure, I also Facebook messaged them (I’m impatient).
Here’s the response:
YOU SHOULD BE SORRY, JERRY.
So, that’s the story of how I spent probably three months obsessed with a pair of shoes featured in a marketing campaign for a company that doesn’t sell them. What a time to be alive. If anyone finds these Gap ankle strap block heel pumps anywhere, let me know.
Consolation heels:
